I Don't Do Disability and Other Lies I've Told Myself

“I Don’t Do Disability and Other Lies I’ve Told Myself explores topics from raising a child with Down syndrome, to confronting the crisis of homelessness, the limits of good deeds, and our responsibilities to each other, to the roles of fantasy and forthrightness in relationships, and much more. With earnest candor and a whole lot of heart, Adelle Purdham puts the essayistic form to its best use: to think through the vagaries of human experience and question fixed beliefs, whether our own or the received wisdom of the culture in which we swim. I loved riding shotgun with Purdham’s kind, funny, and unflinchingly sharp observations. This book is a vehicle of expansion.” 
~ Cooper Lee Bombardier, author of Pass With Care: Memoirs

“I Don’t Do Disability is a marvel of tenderness and ferocity. The voice of these essays is that of a devoted parent, a tireless advocate, and a generous thinker. Every line is shaped by Purdham’s powerful sense of integrity: her insistence on seeing things for exactly what they are and her willingness to imagine what they might one day become.”
~ Mandy Len Catron, author of How to Fall in Love with Anyone: A Memoir in Essays

“I Don’t Do Disability and Other Lies I Tell Myself by Adelle Purdham is a staggering examination of privilege and ableism; of the intimate and often painful complexities and hypocrisies of self. By mining the depths of her own prejudices and biases, Purdham encourages us to do the same. This book breathes resolve and tenderness. It is a profound testament to how our children teach us more than we’ll ever teach them. A must-read.”
~ Hollay Ghadery, author of Fuse

“At once heartbreakingly honest and defiantly joyful, I Don’t Do Disability and Other Lies I’ve Told Myself is a poetic tribute to the relationships that have shaped Adelle, her family, and their experiences with Down syndrome. Beautiful, deliberate, and thought provoking.”
~ Jen Sookfong Lee, author of Superfan

“We ask of memoirists the impossible: tell us everything, as if we are the best of friends sitting at your kitchen table; reveal the best of you, and the worst, too. Make it so compelling, I can’t put it down. And most of all: don’t hold anything back. Adelle Purdham’s I Don’t Do Disability (And Other Lies I’ve Told Myself) delivers, in this must-read memoir, on all counts. She welcomes the reader as companion, not voyeur, and then she spills it all: the love and joy and rage and uncertainty and everything in between. And don’t let the title trick you into thinking this is a book with a single theme; Purdham tackles not just her own internalized ableism after the birth of her daughter with Down syndrome, but also modern marriage, parenting in general, the pull of a creative life, desire, womanhood, the solace of nature, the urgency of advocacy in our modern world, and so much more. Purdham’s fearless honesty and vulnerability fills these pages with magic. This is a stunning debut.”
~ Christina Myers, author of Halfway Home: Thoughts from Midlife

“Searching, intimate, and above all, honest, these essays about friendship, marriage, parenting, disability, and the risks and joys of a writing life reverberate, nourish, challenge, and shine. If it’s true that the way we do anything is the way we do everything, Adelle Purdham does everything with frankness and fierce love.”
~ Susan Olding, author of Big Reader: Essays.

“The disability community deplores books by disability-adjacent writers where parents, spouses, and siblings, of disabled people make fame and fortune centering themselves as disabled saviors. This is not that book. Refreshingly and importantly, Adelle Purdham has instead centered her struggle with her own ableism. In unflinching examination from girlhood to marriage to motherhood, she peels back the layers of society’s ableist onion to reveal and reject the negative attitudes that limited her thinking. To be the mother her disabled daughter deserves, she accepts the challenge to “do disability,” becoming a parent disability advocate. A welcome addition to disability literature in Canada.”
~ Dorothy Palmer, disability advocate and author of Falling for Myself

“A tender, beautifully written essay collection that is about so much more than parenting a child with a disability. Purdham delivers vivid, introspective prose that reveals a keen intellect and strong sense of self-awareness on every page. As she navigates everything from systemic challenges and personal overwhelm to uncovering her own biases, Purdham writes with illuminating candour. This is a book about a loving, devoted mother who is not a saint, nor should she be.”
~ Erin Pepler, author of Send Me Into the Woods Alone: Essays on Motherhood

“At its heart, I Don’t Do Disability And Other Lies I’ve Told Myself, is a story about creativity and love, the essential ingredients necessary to harness the wildness and the wonder of our world, and, in Purdham’s case, to face down inherent ableism, both in herself and others. Purdham shows us that disability is life, and she illustrates this with fierce veracity and through intensely readable prose, writing with a wisdom and clarity that comes from great self-reflection and research, but also via the simple act of living. The final scene is astonishing in its beauty and clear-eyed revelation. I clipped it from the manuscript and hung it on my office wall.”
~ Emily Urquhart, author of Ordinary Wonders

“An extraordinary memoir that takes us on an arduous journey of heartbreak and evolving new ways of perceiving love — even meaning, itself.”
~ Betsy Warland, author of Breathing the Page

“A beautifully intimate blend of personal narrative, cultural critique, and sharp-eyed social commentary on disability and motherhood, this stirring debut is lyrical, heartfelt, and uncomfortably honest. Adelle Purdham, with uncanny precision, cuts our heart strings and dissects our minds with her archeological approach to excavating life’s difficult truths. I Don’t Do Disability is a riveting collection of essays that will deeply resonate with readers.”
~ Lindsay Wong, author of Tell Me Pleasant Things about Immortality